Analysis

Cohesion is a central dimension of family behavior. It is defined as the emotional bonding that family members have towards each other. It includes the concepts of boundaries, coalitions, time, space, decision making and interests. Cohesion is central to the understanding of the family life. My family is somewhere between separated and connected. We have aspects of both in our family unit. I think that as we have all gotten older, we are now more on the separated side, at least with our extended family, than when we were younger. When we were all young, I was just as close with my cousins as I was with my friends at school. But now we are all getting married and starting our own families. Even though we are all growing up and maybe growing a little apart. We still come together as one big family more than most. My cousins were my bridesmaids in my wedding and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Adaptability is how well families adapt to sometimes ever-changing circumstances such as illness, moving or a death. Flexibility is also a part of adaptability. It is the amount of change that a family can endure. All families have periods of change and periods of stability. Most scholars see an excess of change and instability as dysfunctional but also think a certain level is necessary in all families. My family has shown great adaptability is recent months. One cause for having to adapt is an illness, and my family had to go through one this past February. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to have part of his lung removed. The surgery was scheduled and all of our family was told, and the day of the surgery, almost my whole family showed up; m siblings and their spouses, my aunts and uncles and even some of my cousins to sit with my mom during his surgery. That just reiterate to me how important we are to my family and how important they are to us. But we have gotten through all of the chemo and tests and so far so good, but it definitely showed that we were able to adapt to a changing situation. But I think in part it was because we had to. To us there was no choice.

Root Metaphor is assuming a connection between way of talking about the world and a major metaphor or analogy. Finding a simple metaphor is a lot easier than finding much deeper one. Each family relates to the other family members in the sense of images. Males and females tend to use different images to convey family members in metaphors. Conflict can arise if the person creating the image sees the person differently that the person himself does, but if they sees the same way, then a connection is formed.
I have been having a hard time thinking of a metaphor for my whole family, but I have created some for individuals. I compare my sister to a wonderer, she is always on the go and I think will never settle down. My mom and dad are the rock of our family, we can always depend on them and they never falter. My son is like a monkey, not only does he love to climb, but he also communicates like a monkey. He uses facial expressions and hoot and hollers to get what he wants.

Family Themes are found in every family. They may be viewed as a pattern of feelings, motives and fantasies. A family’s themes state who they are. Themes such as competitiveness, if they value an education and if the family is humble or snobby. Themes usually relate to family actions that you can see. You can conclude a family’s theme’s just by watching them. Some themes are much more to detect though. A theme that seems prevalent in my extended family is lateness. It seems like everyone is always late. Since I have grown up seeing that, I am the exact opposite. I hate being late and will actually make sure that I am early as not to be rude. A theme in my immediate family is to be open an honest. Especially now that I am older, I talk to my parents about everything and so do my siblings.

Boundaries of a family are what separate it from the outside world. It creates separation between inner workings and their surrounding environment. They can be physical or psychological, things seen and unseen. Most frequent family boundaries include regulations to people, places, ideas and values. Some family boundaries are flexible while others are very strict. Our family is pretty open, but still has boundaries. When I was younger, the boundaries were obviously different than now. We are an open family that is free to express our views, even though we do get into some heated conversations concerning politics. We were able to decide if we wanted to practice religion or not. Our family has some special occasions that when I was younger, I never took boyfriends to, and seldom do or did my cousins bring their significant others as well. Christmas Eve is huge in my family and has been since I was born. It was so special to me, that even though I had a couple of very serious boyfriends through high school and part of college, I never invited any of them because it was and still is a time that I only share with someone really special. And my husband is the only one that I ever took. I think that that is an unspoken boundary in my family.