Final Project: Three Changes

Change 1
The first change would be to become more open with my children. Right now I have a two year old, but as he grows, I want him to feel comfortable to talk with me about most anything.

I think this would improve our family all around. It would improve communication, our relationship with one another, and allow our family to function better. I think parents that are open and honest with their children have better relationships with each other. If my son and I feel comfortable communicating about most subjects, we will have a better relationship.

In chapter six of our textbook, parent-child relationships are discussed. Parents that are nurturing and supportive obtain more disclosure from their children (147). If I continue to be a nurturing parent, my son will be more likely to talk and communicate with me. The hardest part as a parent is to create a middle ground of closeness and independence (147). This is where most kids shut their parents out. It is important to continue to be supportive, to give them confirmation, to just simply talk and communicate with each other.

On Jeni’s web-page, she says that her family is very close. They are able to talk to each other about anything and she can go to her parents whenever she wants. She says that one way they stay close is to attend important events such as sporting events and academic events. This is a way of showing support, which kids need to have to create closeness and openness.

Jeni also reported in her family research project that her mom said that communication is very important to any family. Talking is the best way to stay connected with your kids.

Ashley also talks about her family being open with each other. They can share their opinions openly. If we continue to be a family that is open with each other, we will feel free to share our thoughts and lives.

Change 2
Another change would be to better communicate with my husband. I would try to be more open to his ideas and opinions, and take them into consideration. This would affect all aspects of our marriage including our communication, our relationship, and our family functioning.

This would benefit Jake and me enormously, especially if he tried to do the same in return. It would allow us to be more open with each other and maybe let us better understand each other and our ideas. This may lead to less fights, (all couples fight, I didn’t mean that we fight all of the time or anything!) better ideas since we will be hearing another set of ideas instead of only our own, it may even lead to us respecting each other more since we will take the time to listen and learn.

I would try to implement this change by simply being more aware of how I am listening to Jake’s ideas and to actually take them into consideration. I tend to think that my way is the best way, but that isn’t always the case. In chapter six, the authors stated that confirmation is one key to a happy and successful marriage. Confirmation includes recognition, dialogue, and acceptance. Using more dialogue may be what I am looking for. It includes asking that other person what they think and being open with ideas and opinions. Accepting would also play a role because that includes avoiding judging and interpreting. It is listening to each side and not making any harsh decisions or judgments.

On Ashley’s web-page, she says that her family is a traditional type. To a point, Jake and I are as well, but we need to work on respecting each others opinions. There are just some things that we can’t talk about together, such as politics, because they just end in an argument.

According to Stacey’s web-page, Jake and I need to also become more conversation oriented. Being conversation oriented we would be able to talk through our issues and not get into arguments. We would be able to resolve our problems through talking and not yelling or silence. If we say what we feel and not hold it in, we would be better able to talk calmly that have it all built up inside us.

Change three
The third change would be to work on fitting in couple time. This is found in chapter five of our text book (112). Jake and I are very family focused, but at the same time we need time for just us, and we don’t do that enough. This would include doing things that Jake and I love to do such as golfing in the summer. This is called togetherness; time that we as a couple spend together (113).

This would improve our relationship by becoming closer to each other. The greater the variety of things you can do together, the more fun. I always love Jake, but when we are having fun together, I feel closer to him; like we are bonding (I know that sounds funny).